Monday, March 23, 2009
One time, there was a slum. It was over in some other part of town. There was a pink slum house. It had a dumb dog, cat and fat guy livin’ there. They weren’t botherin’ nobody. Things changed one day.
Wednesday, the dog was hit by a car. He didn’t wait for the light to turn green, walked, and died. The driver didn’t see nothin’, so he drove off. Dumb was uninsured.
Fat guy found out. He told cat. Cat didn’t care at first. But later, began to cry.
“What’s wrong? Didn’t I feed you?” said fat guy.
“Yeah, but I liked being smarter than someone all the time,” said cat.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I miss having Dumb around. Before Dumb got ‘imself run over, I felt good. I had Dumb fer lookin’ down on. Now, there’s just that stupid rug,” cat said.
“What’ya want then? A new dog or a new rug?”
“Dog’s the dumb I know,” said cat. “Let’s get a new dog.”
That's the true story.
-- end --
by Lurene Gisee, March 23, 2009
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Feckless and Pre-Approved, the criminal cats, sat. They wondered how to get a massive loan from the local bank without identification, a job, or any credit history whatsoever.
"How about a fake ID, Feckless? Works on Wall Street, doesn't it?" said Pre-Approved.
"No, no, no. All you've got to do is walk in with your signed application, Pre-Approved."
"What signed application?"
"The one in the big junk mail pile over there. It already has your name on it. It doesn't matter if you're a cat with 14-prior defaults, convictions and no known address. They've got your name already," said Feckless.
"Oh, oh, okay! I didn't think of it," said Pre-Approved.
"Neither did they, but they'll be thinking plenty when it's too late," said Feckless. "That's just the way the world works, Pre-Approved. I can't wait to tell Cut and Paste Cats, either. Just think of the money we're going to make in this town! We'll triple our cash by sundown."
-- 30 --