Saturday, October 31, 2009
Feckless the Cat -- international criminal cat wanted in 22 countries -- thought he knew how easy theft was by October of 2009. Pre-Approved had the better idea for Halloween, though. It was so simple, the marketing so cheap.
It was a simple sheet of paper with picture of cat spying on loan applicant at window. It read:
DON'T BE FOOLED BY THOSE NOVEMBER 1 STOCK AND BOND SCAMS THAT ARE ON THEIR WAY TO YOUR MAILBOX IN TRIPLICATE RIGHT NOW. SCARE THEM OFF TONIGHT!! INTEREST RATES WILL RISE IN NOVEMBER. OCTOBER 31 IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO SIGN HERE, SAVE THOUSANDS, IF NOT MILLIONS:
MY SIGNATURE X_______________________
MY BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER X____________________
THE DATE X_________________________
"That's all there is to it, Pre-Approved?" asked Feckless.
"Pretty much, Feckless. It's the dog-eared trick for treats. People see the word SAVE and see the line SIGN. It's a spell. Been going on longer than the witches 'been burning in Salem. Happy Halloween!!" said Pre-Approved, grooming his paw lazily.
"But what are they saving on? What's the product?" asked Feckless.
"More stuff they don't need. When they figure it out -- if they figure it out -- they're defaulting, can't pay, and we get bailed out."
"Brilliant, Pre-Approved. Just brilliant. You're going to be the loan.meow for 2010. Just watch. It's going to be a new world. Our world!"
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Thursday, October 22, 2009
Spot the dog knew the game was looking bad tonight. He got together with the other neighborhood dogs for the Wednesday night Monopoly game, but he was scared. In horror, he drew his card and saw the awful words:
GO TO DOG SHELTER. GO DIRECTLY TO DOG SHELTER. DO NOT PASS GO. DO NOT COLLECT $200
Spot hung his ears in shame, slowly got up, and walked back home as the other pets laughed at him. “Told ya not to play Monopoly Spot. Told ya not to play Monopoly Spot. Told ya not to play Monopoly Spot. Told ya….” said the parrot. He was always right and said so to anyone who would listen because he knew they didn’t have a choice, anyway.
But one day, Spot would return for vengeance against them all…